a gentle reminder that you did well this year. you met new people, learned new things and felt new feelings. you did so many things that made you scared. you picked yourself up off the floor after feeling completely defeated or heartbroken. there were some really tough nights but you survived them all. you made people happy just by existing. you accepted many goodbyes but the serendipitous meetings made up for them. it was your own hard work that paid off but you always downplay it or compare yourself to others. that’s not fair on yourself. you’ve come so far from the first day of this year. you have more wisdom and strength now. yes, other people seem more “successful” but does that even matter? please don’t think so lowly of yourself to only think about your failures. 2018 was your year of growth. I hope you take a moment to be kind to yourself, and believe that 2019 will be even better.
I feel like so much of trauma recovery for adults who’ve been traumatized is “you are not the only one who feels this way, this is normal.”
But for adults who were traumatized as children, there is an important experience of learning that it is in fact, not normal. It’s good to not feel alone, to find people who get it and to not feel crazy, but the process of going through who you are and picking out the things you had accepted as normal that are definitely not is so important.
I’ll never forget the moment that I realized people have happy dreams, like frequently. Or the day I realized that most people sleep through the night like almost all of the time. Those were really sad moments, but they were really important too, because they made me understand that I am not crazy. Something bad happened, and it changed me.
It’s okay to be different, it’s okay if the trauma changed you, but if you are running a race with a broken legand beating yourself up because you aren’t as fast are the other runners something needs to change. Realizing you are different is the first step to figuring out how to heal
1. Seek to focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want: A mistake we tend to make when we’re faced with a problem is to think and talk about it all the time - instead of focusing our thinking on what we want instead.
2. Recognise that every problem comes with a lesson: There’s a lesson to be learned from all that happens to us. We can become a better person - even when things have gone wrong.
3. Don’t believe everything you think: Our problems aren’t as big as the mind tries to convince us. Don’t believe all those negative and self-defeating thoughts.
4. Choose to be grateful in everything: Although it’s hard to be grateful when things are going wrong, we can usually find something we can be grateful for - and the more we choose gratitude, the happier we’ll feel.
5. Let go of your need for perfection: If you try to be perfect in everything you do, you will always feel you’re failing, and you’ll live with constant stress. Do you best – as perfection’s not a realistic goal.
6. Let go of your resistance: Accept things as they are - you don’t always have to change them. Life’s not meant to be a struggle, or a constant battle ground.
7. Seek to be present in everything you do: When you give yourself completely to living in the moment, you’ll find that life is easier - and you’ll feel much more relaxed.
